Bliss

Lately due to incredible amounts of stress, my normally sunshiny mood has been transformed to a big black cloud. If I could erase the first half of last week from my time here on earth, I would. However, since there are no do-overs in the game of life, I decided to try to make the best out of the week that I could.

I searched myself long and hard for some good things I could pull out of the dismal days of last week that would make for good pocket tools going forward. Thursday night was the height of the stress but fortunately it was all resolved and I celebrated by meeting one of my most fun girlfriends for karaoke and some of our favorite brew. Two other friends were also there and the whole group is a riot to be around. It was just what the doctor ordered for Thursday. We ended the night earlier than we usually do when we get together and kept our promises to ourselves. That felt good.

Friday was a much needed day off from work. Earlier in the week I had decided that I needed to do some good things for myself. I used to do at least one nice thing for myself each week, but recently I've gotten away from being good to myself and it makes a huge difference in life. If you aren't good to yourself, who can you always rely on to be good to you? I think it's ok to pamper yourself once in awhile. Give yourself permission people! You only live once.

Friday I did a little cleaning, showered and then left the house for the first of my two pampering sessions of the day. I was going to a retreat Friday evening. I didn't want to have to spend my entire evening and half the morning on Saturday trying to wind down so I decided to go get a pedicure. I think the last time I got one of those was 6 or 7 years ago when I cashed in a gift certificate I had gotten. Most of the time it's hard for me to justify that kind of money for something I can do by myself. However it feels so good to have your feet soak in a bubbly tub of warm water, have crunchy exfolient rubbed in to my legs then lotion slathered all over my legs and feet. It feels good to have that caring touch when you don't get it on a regular basis. Even if you have to pay for it. (prostitutes and jiggalos don't apply in this writing segment even though they can give you that caring touch too...haha)

Anyway, when my toes were all done they were so pretty that I asked her if she had time to do my nails too. She did so I gave her the go ahead and loved the color so much that I bought myself the bottle of that color fingernail polish so I could paint my nails with that color after this. My toenails and fingernails looked so pretty when I left.

I had a massage scheduled for just the right amount of time to drive from the nails place to the massage school when I had an hour scheduled. I left the massage school feeling like a piece of rubber.

After the massage I drove home, packed my backpack with necessities for the retreat and drove out there. I have to admit that walking in to a place full of strangers was mildly anxiety producing for me, but the group was very welcoming and friendly. The dinner conversation was nice and after that we all congregated around the bonfire our host had prepared for us. After doing our thing around the fire I decided to get in the hot tub. I felt a little weird about that because I had to bring my old suit. I have no idea what I did with my new one. (*mental note to self...find new bathing suit before you go on another retreat*) I quickly ran from the inside of the house and hopped in the hot tub before anyone could notice that I had to wear a tank top under the suit so the sagginess of the old suit wouldn't expose my chest area.

I stayed in the hot tub until bedtime. Elapsed time was 3 hours turning myself in to a human raisin in a tub of hot, bubbly water. It was bliss!! When I went to bed I felt more relaxed than I have in as long as I can remember. It was just what I needed and deserved.

My roomie was a tosser and turner but she didn't keep me up too long. When I fell asleep I slept like a baby. I woke up feeling refreshed and stress pain free for the first time in a long time too. It felt good to be alive. The best part was waking up, looking out the window overlooking the crystal blue pool and wooded gully and seeing the sun glistening through the dew on the trees.

The morning was filled with organic breakfast and silence. About 2 hours of yoga and meditation(extremely relaxing and blissful...I didn't want it to end) then a ceremony to honor the goddess within each of us women at the retreat.

I left there feeling graceful, cleansed, relaxed and all around happy.

It was a little spendy to do all of this stuff for myself, however it was the best way I could have spent my money to get myself balanced and centered again so I could be my happy, fun self again. My batteries feel fully recharged now and I will definately be doing another goddess retreat when I get the first chance financially.

If you don't take the time out of your busy life to really treat yourself once in awhile, I'd highly suggest it. Your inner child and outer adult will thank you with top performance and bliss that takes a long time to wear off because your self is so happy you took care of it instead of others for once.

Single moms especially need to take time out and do this at least once a year. Maybe more.

Soon the polish will chip off my nails....oh yeah it already is. The cuticles will grow back, the knots will form between my shoulders and the wonderful things about the retreat will fade in my mind, but when I need to be reminded again, that will be when I decide to take another retreat just for me. I know I've noticed the change in my demeanor since getting home yesterday afternoon and I have a feeling people will notice that inner glow shining from the inside out to them. My flame has been fanned.