Here I am, the last week of summer break before school starts back up, Gregory enters his freshman year of high school and life gets crazy again.
I feel this need to begin writing again. Something has been missing for a long time and I think this might be what it is. The daily venting of my crazy, wonderful life.
I was in bed and sleeping by 10 p.m. so I could get up early tomorrow morning and get some productive things done before it's time to go help Mary weed her gardens at the rental. Now it's nearly 3:00 a.m. and I'm sitting here, wide awake. I could be doing dishes but the guys downstairs sleep right below the kitchen so it's not the best idea to make a bunch of noise this time of night.
I'm feeling all antsy and anxious lately and I don't know why. I wish I did. Maybe I am just too bored and need to be crazy busy again to take this feeling away. I hate it.
I've been having this urge to start dating again and I have no idea where to begin. It isn't a natural process for me, but what I do naturally is push men far away from me that they don't walk, they run far away. Usually it's after they say something super inappropriate though. Maybe I need to change my style. I dunno.
Time for me to go to bed again after another drink of water. I'll see if I can get a little shut eye.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The Last Fun Day of Summer
Our summer has been full of lots of visits with fun people. One of the more enjoyable things has been getting together with Gman's girlfriend's family. I never expected to make friends with such a great family but am so glad we are friends.
The first real time spent was a weekend of camping with just girls and their baby boy, age 3. What a fun time fishing, laughing and just all around relaxing at Louisville State Recreation Area.
The second time Gman went and camped with them the week it was over 100 degrees. I'm a weenie and declined on that one. This body can't take that kind of heat.
The last time was an afternoon and evening at the park swimming to beat the heat then showering and making dinner at one of the shelters. The crowning point of the night was when the (now) 4 year old caught a rather large bull frog when we were fishing. A fun time was had by all.
And so we take our last during the week summer trip on Wednesday. It's my turn to cook and I have the meal all planned out. It should be fun to work on the last part of that summer tan that is already beginning to fade away and spend some quality time with the kiddos. I'm looking forward to it.
The first real time spent was a weekend of camping with just girls and their baby boy, age 3. What a fun time fishing, laughing and just all around relaxing at Louisville State Recreation Area.
The second time Gman went and camped with them the week it was over 100 degrees. I'm a weenie and declined on that one. This body can't take that kind of heat.
The last time was an afternoon and evening at the park swimming to beat the heat then showering and making dinner at one of the shelters. The crowning point of the night was when the (now) 4 year old caught a rather large bull frog when we were fishing. A fun time was had by all.
And so we take our last during the week summer trip on Wednesday. It's my turn to cook and I have the meal all planned out. It should be fun to work on the last part of that summer tan that is already beginning to fade away and spend some quality time with the kiddos. I'm looking forward to it.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Insomnia
What's the deal with all the insomnia lately? Last night Gman was up most of the night saying he couldn't sleep. Tagging along with his insomnia would be my "non-self-imposed" insomnia because I kept chasing him back to bed. I went as far as to crawl in to bed with him and sleep there so I could feel him when he got up. Finally at 5:00 a.m. I gave up and just let him get up for the day so I could survive on the small amount of sleep I could get between 5:00 a.m. and 6:30 when I wake up for the day.
The day actually went quickly and smoothly for the most part. I enjoyed a little nap when I got home and now I'm tired but not tired enough to sleep. For some reason I'm anxious tonight. I'm feeling a little unrest and bored with life right now. Spring break is on the horizon and I'm sure that has something to do with it.
I firmly believe that in a past life I was a gypsy or some sort of wanderer. Even though I am rooted in one place, I often feel like I need to explore somewhere new. I've had this need since I was a child and have fulfilled this need within me since I took my first trip alone when I was 18 years old. Often times the place I migrate towards has some sort of significant source of water.
I often find myself browsing travel websites for affordable deals to destinations I've often thought I'd like to see. Last year I took Gman and traveled to San Francisco. We were there for 5 days and didn't see nearly enough of the city. I'd have taken him and gone to the ocean again this year but the need for a different car overshadowed funds for travel. So I sit here tonight, dreaming of a far away new and exotic place. As I close my eyes I will pray for some really affordable hotel\airfare combo as spring break approaches so I can satisfy this urge within me to travel.
I'm hoping with summer approaching that I will be able to find an appropriate summer job to perhaps fund an end of the summer vacation with my kiddo. Until that time, I will immerse myself in books with lavish scenes of faraway places.
The day actually went quickly and smoothly for the most part. I enjoyed a little nap when I got home and now I'm tired but not tired enough to sleep. For some reason I'm anxious tonight. I'm feeling a little unrest and bored with life right now. Spring break is on the horizon and I'm sure that has something to do with it.
I firmly believe that in a past life I was a gypsy or some sort of wanderer. Even though I am rooted in one place, I often feel like I need to explore somewhere new. I've had this need since I was a child and have fulfilled this need within me since I took my first trip alone when I was 18 years old. Often times the place I migrate towards has some sort of significant source of water.
I often find myself browsing travel websites for affordable deals to destinations I've often thought I'd like to see. Last year I took Gman and traveled to San Francisco. We were there for 5 days and didn't see nearly enough of the city. I'd have taken him and gone to the ocean again this year but the need for a different car overshadowed funds for travel. So I sit here tonight, dreaming of a far away new and exotic place. As I close my eyes I will pray for some really affordable hotel\airfare combo as spring break approaches so I can satisfy this urge within me to travel.
I'm hoping with summer approaching that I will be able to find an appropriate summer job to perhaps fund an end of the summer vacation with my kiddo. Until that time, I will immerse myself in books with lavish scenes of faraway places.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Wonderful Weekend
Last week was exhausting, mainly thanks to my son and some other things that I am highly suspicious that my ex-husband is behind. However I "think" those things are under control but I won't know for sure until later in the week.
After pretty much zero sleep on Thursday night I was exhausted on Friday. However there was excitement vibrating inside because I was getting together with several people I went to high school with. 2 of them are married and drove up from KC. Their daughter lives in Lincoln so she drove up to Omaha as well. The other one lives in Omaha now and manages a local coffee establishment.
Debbie, Daryl, Bekka and I met for dinner shortly after 6:00 p.m. and at the beginning of our snow storm. We went out for the best Greek food in town and chatted until they politely told us to get out by dimming the lights and starting to close up. We had the best waitress ever. She was friendly and gave great service. The food and company were both wonderful.
After dinner we decided to drive to the coffee establishment to see Jamie. There was music there that night and we tried to get there to catch it. We had a hard time finding it but eventually found the location and realized that it was closed. The good news is that Jamie was still there with an employee and they were closing up for the day. We drove right up to the drive thru and we could see she was giving us the stink eye and was getting ready to tell us "We're closed." However when Daryl rolled down the window she got this shocked look on her face. What I wouldn't have given to have a camera and her picture at just that very moment. I'm chuckling now as I write this and think of that look.
Jamie waved us in and we all sat and talked until the wee hours of 1:30 a.m. or so. Maybe a little earlier but not much. Lots of laughs were had. Minds were groggy and eyes were tired. We were all going on little or no sleep from the night before so the tired giddy feeling was high in there.
We had a lot of fun talking about old times and new times as well. I can honestly say it's one of the best times I've had in a long time and so many laughs.
The next time they are in town I'm grilling and having them all over here for dinner.
Thanks for the great evening Daryl, Debbie, Jamie and Bekka.
After pretty much zero sleep on Thursday night I was exhausted on Friday. However there was excitement vibrating inside because I was getting together with several people I went to high school with. 2 of them are married and drove up from KC. Their daughter lives in Lincoln so she drove up to Omaha as well. The other one lives in Omaha now and manages a local coffee establishment.
Debbie, Daryl, Bekka and I met for dinner shortly after 6:00 p.m. and at the beginning of our snow storm. We went out for the best Greek food in town and chatted until they politely told us to get out by dimming the lights and starting to close up. We had the best waitress ever. She was friendly and gave great service. The food and company were both wonderful.
After dinner we decided to drive to the coffee establishment to see Jamie. There was music there that night and we tried to get there to catch it. We had a hard time finding it but eventually found the location and realized that it was closed. The good news is that Jamie was still there with an employee and they were closing up for the day. We drove right up to the drive thru and we could see she was giving us the stink eye and was getting ready to tell us "We're closed." However when Daryl rolled down the window she got this shocked look on her face. What I wouldn't have given to have a camera and her picture at just that very moment. I'm chuckling now as I write this and think of that look.
Jamie waved us in and we all sat and talked until the wee hours of 1:30 a.m. or so. Maybe a little earlier but not much. Lots of laughs were had. Minds were groggy and eyes were tired. We were all going on little or no sleep from the night before so the tired giddy feeling was high in there.
We had a lot of fun talking about old times and new times as well. I can honestly say it's one of the best times I've had in a long time and so many laughs.
The next time they are in town I'm grilling and having them all over here for dinner.
Thanks for the great evening Daryl, Debbie, Jamie and Bekka.
Life with Contacts
Yesterday I went for my eye examination which I should have gotten a year ago, but was side-tracked by the need of a new alternator for the car. At that time I had planned to get contacts too but the cost of the alternator sucked up all of my eye exam and contact money.
I decided to get a contact exam so I could finally get said lenses for my eyes. The exam went well and then it was off to training for the contacts. They are lots harder to get in and out than I had expected but after a few tries I was able to do it in a reasonable amount of time.
I had some problems with one of them being pretty blurry so the eye doctor changed it out and gave me a different brand which not only felt better but that I could actually see out of without it feeling like that eye was full of tears. My eyes were pretty irritated with all of the activity by the end of it all that they were both watering but when I dried them, I could actually see.
I paid for the exam and went on my merry way with new contacts in my eyes and a bottle of solution for them. As I left the store I though, "My gosh these things are really blurry all of a sudden." At about the same time I realized that I had left my glasses in the contact boot camp training room.
I walked back in to the store and said, "I forgot my glasses, do you mind if I go back and get them?" The lady looked at me like I had two heads and said, "Honey they are on your face." I started laughing and said, "Well no wonder these contacts are so blurry!!" I took them off and was able to see just fine and left the store while guffawing along with the staff about my apparent flakiness.
Today the contacts still feel weird but I was able to wear them for several hours without having to take them out and rub my eyes. I will try wearing them to work tomorrow and bring my glasses along, "just in case." I think life with contacts will be good.
I decided to get a contact exam so I could finally get said lenses for my eyes. The exam went well and then it was off to training for the contacts. They are lots harder to get in and out than I had expected but after a few tries I was able to do it in a reasonable amount of time.
I had some problems with one of them being pretty blurry so the eye doctor changed it out and gave me a different brand which not only felt better but that I could actually see out of without it feeling like that eye was full of tears. My eyes were pretty irritated with all of the activity by the end of it all that they were both watering but when I dried them, I could actually see.
I paid for the exam and went on my merry way with new contacts in my eyes and a bottle of solution for them. As I left the store I though, "My gosh these things are really blurry all of a sudden." At about the same time I realized that I had left my glasses in the contact boot camp training room.
I walked back in to the store and said, "I forgot my glasses, do you mind if I go back and get them?" The lady looked at me like I had two heads and said, "Honey they are on your face." I started laughing and said, "Well no wonder these contacts are so blurry!!" I took them off and was able to see just fine and left the store while guffawing along with the staff about my apparent flakiness.
Today the contacts still feel weird but I was able to wear them for several hours without having to take them out and rub my eyes. I will try wearing them to work tomorrow and bring my glasses along, "just in case." I think life with contacts will be good.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Stress
I remember the stress free time in my life. I remember when my shoulders didn't hurt from bearing the weight of the world on them. I remember being in a place where I didn't let it all bother me so much and made a conscious decision to be happy. Yes there was stress but I wasn't going to let it rule my life.
Today the world feels heavy. There's laundry to do, trash to take out, dishes to get washed, dusting vacuuming, errand running, car washing, apartment hunting and trying to find some quality weekend time with Gman.
With working 55 hours per week, there's not much time left over for myself. Lately I find myself feeling lonely and wanting companionship. Self-respect isn't enough for me to want to keep my apartment looking nice.
I'm feeling holed up and cramped in here. I feel like I need a place to spread out and be me. My apartment is beginning to feel like a prison.
This time of the year it always feels like this. It's depressing, it's not really nice enough to spend a lot of time outside and I have a serious case of the lonelies and cabin fever. I want to get out and go camping, take walks, ride my bike and spend time with friends in our back yards. I WANT a back yard.
One of the apartments I am going to look at today appears to have a huge back yard. That is exciting to me. I can't wait to get out of this dark, dank hole of an apartment with no space to put ANYTHING! There's overflow all over the place. I know I shouldn't complain because there are people out there with less. But I feel like a snake ready to break from the old skin and stretch in to the new.
Last weekend I spent some time with family and it was good to get out of town. It was even better to be able to do it in my own car. There's a sense of freedom in not having to rent a car and realize I can go anywhere I want to on my own 4 wheels that actually shift out of 1st gear and don't overheat after 2 miles.
Really, overall, life is good. In the past two weeks I've gotten better transportation and forgiven a 9 year wrong.
Forgiveness....what a divine thing. To withhold forgiveness from someone who has done you wrong is to use precious energy that could be going to so many good things.
It felt good to put this behind us. I hope this can be the beginning of the rest of the healing process for us all.
So there are many, many good things in my life. I need to focus on them and pray that the things I'm unsettled with will work themselves out soon. I'm ready for the good for awhile.
Today the world feels heavy. There's laundry to do, trash to take out, dishes to get washed, dusting vacuuming, errand running, car washing, apartment hunting and trying to find some quality weekend time with Gman.
With working 55 hours per week, there's not much time left over for myself. Lately I find myself feeling lonely and wanting companionship. Self-respect isn't enough for me to want to keep my apartment looking nice.
I'm feeling holed up and cramped in here. I feel like I need a place to spread out and be me. My apartment is beginning to feel like a prison.
This time of the year it always feels like this. It's depressing, it's not really nice enough to spend a lot of time outside and I have a serious case of the lonelies and cabin fever. I want to get out and go camping, take walks, ride my bike and spend time with friends in our back yards. I WANT a back yard.
One of the apartments I am going to look at today appears to have a huge back yard. That is exciting to me. I can't wait to get out of this dark, dank hole of an apartment with no space to put ANYTHING! There's overflow all over the place. I know I shouldn't complain because there are people out there with less. But I feel like a snake ready to break from the old skin and stretch in to the new.
Last weekend I spent some time with family and it was good to get out of town. It was even better to be able to do it in my own car. There's a sense of freedom in not having to rent a car and realize I can go anywhere I want to on my own 4 wheels that actually shift out of 1st gear and don't overheat after 2 miles.
Really, overall, life is good. In the past two weeks I've gotten better transportation and forgiven a 9 year wrong.
Forgiveness....what a divine thing. To withhold forgiveness from someone who has done you wrong is to use precious energy that could be going to so many good things.
It felt good to put this behind us. I hope this can be the beginning of the rest of the healing process for us all.
So there are many, many good things in my life. I need to focus on them and pray that the things I'm unsettled with will work themselves out soon. I'm ready for the good for awhile.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Laundry Room Guy cont.
I'm so terrible about blogging lately. Please forgive me for falling off the blog wagon for so long. Eventually I will get back to it or make time for it again. Working hard and playing hard doesn't leave much time for me to blog.
If you need to know more about the laundry room guy, read the blog right before this one and you will get the full story.
I contemplated for nearly a week before deciding what to do with the note the laundry room guy left me. I liked his look, from the back at least. He's a big guy....bonus because then maybe I can feel a little petite...a rare feeling for me.
I deliberated with several friends over what to do about the note. Should I call or shouldn't I? Having been divorced and in a few failed relationships since the divorce I'm admittedly gun shy when it comes to dating and the possibility of a relationship.
I finally decided that I had nothing to lose and that I would call him.
I took a deep breath and dialed *67 to block my number; along with his phone number. I've had a stalker before and I don't want one again so I take precautions to prevent that from happening.
Thankfully his voice mail came on because his phone message sounded just as garbled as when he was talking to me in the laundry room. At that point I decided that my hearing is just fine and that he talks like he has a mouth full of garbage all the time.
I don't mean to sound judgemental but I really need someone who is intellectually stimulating and he didn't sound like the intellectually stimulating type. I decided not to leave a message and to keep the note on my desk to remind me during the dry spell that I'm still attractive to at least some people.
My whole school of thought on this is that if it's meant to be, we will run in to each other again. If it's not meant to be then we won't. I'm putting it all in the hands of the powers that be to decide my fate.
Until then, I'm still status quo at between relationships.
If you need to know more about the laundry room guy, read the blog right before this one and you will get the full story.
I contemplated for nearly a week before deciding what to do with the note the laundry room guy left me. I liked his look, from the back at least. He's a big guy....bonus because then maybe I can feel a little petite...a rare feeling for me.
I deliberated with several friends over what to do about the note. Should I call or shouldn't I? Having been divorced and in a few failed relationships since the divorce I'm admittedly gun shy when it comes to dating and the possibility of a relationship.
I finally decided that I had nothing to lose and that I would call him.
I took a deep breath and dialed *67 to block my number; along with his phone number. I've had a stalker before and I don't want one again so I take precautions to prevent that from happening.
Thankfully his voice mail came on because his phone message sounded just as garbled as when he was talking to me in the laundry room. At that point I decided that my hearing is just fine and that he talks like he has a mouth full of garbage all the time.
I don't mean to sound judgemental but I really need someone who is intellectually stimulating and he didn't sound like the intellectually stimulating type. I decided not to leave a message and to keep the note on my desk to remind me during the dry spell that I'm still attractive to at least some people.
My whole school of thought on this is that if it's meant to be, we will run in to each other again. If it's not meant to be then we won't. I'm putting it all in the hands of the powers that be to decide my fate.
Until then, I'm still status quo at between relationships.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
