When I Least Expected It....

With it being the new year, I have several resolutions that I have made for myself. I will not bore you with the list of things I have planned for myself but I will tell you that part of the list is very challenging and there's a possibility that even though I'm working towards my goals, I may not accomplish all of my resolutions this year.
I recently read an article that if you make New Year's Resolutions that you'll be happier even if you are not successful in reaching those goals. Why? Because you are working towards bettering yourself and that makes for more happiness as you are working towards a goal of self improvement.

I wouldn't call it a goal or resolution but I have decided that this is the year I need to stop being a chicken shit and get serious about dating and falling in love again. Yes, you heard it right. Those of you who think I've gone to play for the lesbian side can relax. I'm going to get serious about finding a man for the first time in very close to 4 years. Yes, it's been a long time and a wonderful journey but I feel that I've done enough self-improvement and self-enlightenment that I might actually be emotionally healthy enough to find a healthy relationship. SCORE!

Usually when I feel like I'm ready then the whole task seems daunting and I give up. Frankly, dating isn't really that fun when you're in your 30's.....or maybe it's just your attitude towards it.

They say you meet the right one for you when you're least expecting it. Can that even mean in the laundry room of an apartment building? Perhaps.
Tonight I was switching laundry out and trying to get my laundry finished before going out with friends tonight. Let me tell you that I wasn't looking my best. I had at least fixed and straightened my hair and showered but I had on my running pants and a Dave Matthews concert t-shirt and no make-up. It's not uncommon when I'm doing laundry for someone to come through the laundry area, as it's a throughway for the building to get outside. I almost always greet whomever comes through there. Not only because I try to be friendly but also because I want them to know that I know they are there behind me and I like to get a look at who it is. It just makes me feel safer.

To continue my story, a very large (tall and stocky) man came through there tonight. I said my usual "Hello" and he started talking to me. Well my hearing isn't that great anymore and he had his back to me while walking outside and talking the entire time. Since I didn't understand anything he said I didn't reply. I also didn't have my glasses on so I didn't get a good look at his face. I can tell you his stature, his build, what he had on, what his back looked like and his voice sounded like but other than that he was a complete mystery to me.

Fast forward 30 minutes. I'm getting ready to pull the loads out of the dryer and put more in the washer. In my basket I found a note, from this guy sitting on top of my bucket of OxyClean. On the outside it said, "Read This". On the inside was a very nice note from him and his phone number asking me to call him.

Now I've been around the block a few times but this is the most interesting pick-up I'd have to say I've ever had done to me. It's flattering and anxiety producing all at the same time. I want to call him because I'm curious, but that aire of mystery is kind of fun. My other reservation is that I "think" that perhaps he was visiting a neighbor of mine who has always been very nice to me but is a bit shady and just came back from a nice 2 month vacation in the county jail for burglary. Now if they are friends, I'm not very inclined to want to give him a chance just because of the "guilty by association" clause of my life.

I haven't decided yet if I'll call him. I kind of feel like I should because he took the time to write the note and if I had done something like that I think I'd like the person to call me too. I could always use the "I'm not available" clause and let him believe that I'm seeing someone even though I never really said I did.

*shrug*

If nothing else it was a nice ego boost to see that someone would find me attractive in my Saturday's worst!!

What do you think? Should I or shouldn't I call?

Kids are a Trip!!

Ah how I've missed my students over break. And the teachers too. This morning before writing, the 3rd grade students were allowed to talk about their holiday break. They all went around the room and talked about the loot that Santa had brought.

One of the teachers in the room told us she watched more football than she ever has in her life. I told a little about what I did. And then another of the teachers that is in there during that time told us how he had a contest with himself to see how much he could eat and he won every time. He said the other contest he had with himself was to see how long he could stay on the couch and watch TV.

To that one of the third graders oh-so-seriously exclaimed in a surprised voice, "Mr. K. how can you live with yourself?!?!?!?!"

You can probably figure out the reaction of the teachers. We all had smiles on our faces the rest of the morning.

Attitude Adjustments and the Holidays

The holiday season was such a nice one this year. It was the first time in 5 years that I've been home for Christmas. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am unable to be with my entire family for the holidays. Because of that, most years I just stay in Omaha and celebrate each holiday with the "family" I've adopted down here. It's fun but it's just not the same as blood relatives, however it's better than spending holidays alone.

This year my uncle and aunt from Arkansas also made it home. It was such a pleasure seeing them. My plan was to rent a car and come home for Christmas but I ended up taking the bus because of some complications with the car rental company. Since it was Christmas the prices of rentals had trippled so the bus was really the only option left.

I was pleasantly surprised that the bus trip wasn't bad at all. The bus leaving Omaha was 30 minutes late, however it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We were to have an hour layover in Sioux Falls but the layover ended up being only about 10 minutes. I thought a 10 minute layover was VERY doable. We arrived at our destination 20 minutes earlier than scheduled and that made me very happy. It was nice to be able to just relax and take a nap on the trip instead of stressing out with the drive. I may just invest in taking the bus again when I have an extended weekend.

Once we got home there was a great welcome of family. During the course of the day all of my siblings had come to visit mom. I got to see all of my nieces and my 2 nephews. Cuddle with the newest nephew who is absolutely adorable and talk with everyone. It was so nice to see everybody. Every time we all get together, I realize just how big the family is starting to get.

My nieces and nephew are a trip. Gregory doesn't get to see them often and they all had a great game of hide and seek going. One of my nieces, who is especially cunning found a hiding spot in one of my suitcases. We were all giggling out loud that the older boys couldn't find her. We were all giggling at her as she was giggling out loud when they cried, "We give up Desi, come out!!" She knew she had them beat. Of course others tried the suitcase trick but that can only work once. lol It was so great to see them all playing together and having a good time. It was nice to see that Brady wasn't getting on Gregory's nerves and I think Gregory actually enjoyed his younger cousin this time.

On Monday we all went sledding. My sister, sister-in-law and I went out to supervise. It felt so good to be out there and it brought back so many awesome childhood memories. All of a sudden I felt like I was 15 again and out there with my siblings and cousins having a good time. As most of you know, I ended up in a pretty nasty crash with my niece and we both got hurt. However my shoulder is feeling like it's on the mend now and hopefully Desi's goose egg is starting to subside.

I spent the rest of my vacation trying to cook some meals ahead for my mom and Carl, and by doing their laundry. I feel bad that I live so far away and can never help out. This was my opportunity to contribute so I made the most of it by cooking and freezing 4 or 5 different pans of stuff so they hopefully don't have to cook for a couple of weeks. I think I did about 10 loads of dishes but it was fair because I dirtied most of them. Gregory was a big help too with helping to clean the kitchen since my arm was feeling so bad.

Before we knew it, it was time to come back to Omaha. My brother Mike was kind enough to offer up a ride home as long as I paid for the gas. 4 hours, a great lunch and a gas tank fill later, he was on the road on his way back to South Dakota. He saved me a ton of money by doing that and I am very appreciative that he was off work and willing to help me out. Money was pretty scarce at that moment.

So here I am at the end of Christmas vacation and it's back to school tomorrow. I'm sad vacation is ending but happy to be getting back to a schedule again. Now we have spring break to look forward to! :o)

There's more to write about because my mom gave the coolest Christmas gift known to man this Christmas. She gave us kids each a piece of our childhood, but that's another blog that will include photos and an explanation.

Goodnight and sweet dreams!!

Sunday Emotional Vommit

I'm going to write some good blogs, I promise. But right now I need to emotionally vommit on being single and Sundays. I hate them. I've always hated them and as long as I'm single I will probably always hate them.
Sunday has traditionally been a "family" day in my life. As long as I am single, I will never get used to being alone on Sundays. I will probably always get just a little depressed, feel sorry for myself and make bad choices like eating too much to make me feel better about my loneliness or seriously thinking of inviting guys over that I know are bad for me. Just so I don't have to be alone.

About the time I can't stand being alone in the house anymore, I get out of my pajamas, take a shower, fix my hair and decide to go out. By the time I get out and get ready to go to the bookstore, which is often my solace when I'm really lonely, the darn bookstore is closed because I waited too long to go.

So here I sit. I contacted my favorite bad habit for some company tonight. It seemed like hours and he hadn't responded when in reality it was only about 45 minutes. I decided to go to the movies instead and told my bad habit I made other plans. But here I sit and now I don't want to go. *sigh* This really sucks.

The grocery store is a great way to break up boredom but with my boredom comes bad food choices like ice cream and chips which I tend to drown my sorrows in. I am determined to make better food choices this year and I know I am having a weak moment right now so I think I will wait to go grocery shopping until tomorrow when I'm in a better place.

Sometimes I really despise Sundays...especially Sunday nights. I need to make a resolution to find myself a good man this year and stop pushing everyone away because I'm scared of getting in to a bad relationship again.